Blogging

I'm stinking at it.

I know.

Do you guys remember a time when I used to keep this thing up...

posting multiple times a week??

No?

anyone??

Oh, none of you are reading anymore huh.?

It's okay. I wouldn't either.

(thanks for still reading though mom:))

I've lost my spark. I've lost my zest. I've lost the blogging enthusiasm.

I just don't ever feel like sitting at the computer and documenting life anymore,

because let's face it....blogging takes soooo much time.

Time that could be spent doing other things like actually living more of the moments instead of trying so hard to capture them.

I convinced myself that was the real reason I was letting my blog go by the wayside.

*inside my head...careful...it's a scary place*

I want to just spend time playing with my family not sitting in front of the computer.

I don't want my kids growing up with a camera in front of their face.

I don't want to waste another second frustrated that Sonny didn't reach for the camera and capture 

gigi and me playing ring around the rosies...cause dang it, it was darling!

(he is a pose only kind of guy)

So with all that in mind, I was slowly giving it up.

Taking way less pictures, not writing nearly as much, letting gigi's new word-isms,

lulu's first field trip, and the rockstar's baseball games (so good btw) go by the wayside.

And I was fine with it.

Afterall, my parents didn't document every second of my life and I turned out okay. (my opinion:))

BUT then the other morning, my theory was shaken.

I heard soft voices and giggling taking place in the other room while I was making my bed

(totally wasn't making my bed...just wanted you guys to be impressed)

I walked around the corner and found this....

My 2 girlies looking thru one of our 5 blog books.

They were laughing and pointing

and remembering.

Remembering lots of memories that would probably have been forgotten had I not sat at the computer

hour upon hour writing, posting, and putting them in a book to sit in our family room available for 

their little hands to reach up and thumb thru their lovely life.

It revived me.

I grabbed my camera and snapped a pic.

It touched my heart and I realized,

I want to keep this up.

I want to post as much as I can,

because I want to remember it all.

I will continue to leave my camera at home from time to time and I definitely will choose

playtime over computer time,

but I am back in the game.

I'm blogging. 

So keep reading mom :)

It's Bachelorette Monday y'all!!!

I have been tuning into the Bachelor since Andrew Firestone (season 3), which means I have wasted

 enjoyed approximately 528 hours of my life watching the show.

I used to be a "closet Bachelor Fan" You know, a little embarrassed to admit that I dedicate 

 so much of my time and heart to a show that infamously produces no happy endings!

(I am still in the healing process from Emily and Brad's split) 

I also tried to give it up a couple of seasons...I figured Ashley Hebert's season was a good time to start, 

(that needs no explanation)

but as hard as I tried, I couldn't kick the dirty little habit.

And then I thought...WHY TRY? Afterall, there really is no better television.

25 guys/women falling all over one bachelorette/bachelor.

Every Monday night is a party of every possible emotion...

Fights + Charm + Beauty + Amazing Dates + Tears + Crazy Girls + Bentley (am I the only one that loves him??) 

+ LOVE (K not really....but I swear one of these times it's gonna work)

Plus Monday is my laundry day, so I fold my huge mound while I tune in which has made 

Pavlov's classical conditioning a little personal...

Disgust for Laundry + 2 hours of watching Bachelor (ette) while folding apparel = 

new Love for Laundry (what the??)

Anywho, this is getting way too lengthy. 

The reason for this post is to remind you all to TUNE IN tonight.

Seriously, even if you're one of those "I'm too good to watch that silly "trendy" show" 

STOP IT and TUNE IN, 

because Emily is back and going to be the Bachelorette this season

and she is basically everything I want to be in my life...

Haha. Okay, I know I don't have a chance in heck, but I adore her.

She is Beautiful and Classy and Southern and sweet and Beautiful :)

As I said before, I watched her and Brad fall in love a few seasons back

(oh the tears for them!)

It didn't work. She's back and I can't wait to tune in.

PLUS, one of the dude's on the show I know.

Jef Holm.

Okay, I don't personally know him at all, but he's from St George and Sonny is really good friends with his older brother,

so I'm married to a guy who knows a guy who's brother's with a guy.

Did you follow that?

No?

K. Basically, I'm famous :)

So don't forget tonight at 830!

DVR it.

Now.

Happy Bachelorette Monday!

They call me Mommy

The other day, I got a tearful phone call from a very close friend.

She had very recently given birth to her first precious babe...

and life was slugging her between the eyes. 

(been there right ladies!?)

She poured her heart out about how she just didn't feel like herself. How life had changed so much and she just didn't feel like she could ever measure up.

She choked out "Kit, I'll just be perfectly honest, I don't even think I like being a mom."

I honestly think she expected me to gasp, hang up the phone, and CPS to simultaneously burst right thru the door and rescue her little bundle!! 

Haha. Nope. Instead I told her...

"I've been there too dear. In fact, I'm not sure I even liked my baby."

I remember August 2, 2005 vividly when I was first introduced to motherhood.

20 hours after a 12 hour birth, I called the nurses and begged and pleaded for them to take my screaming baby to the nursery.

They had already taken her twice, only to bring her back 30 minutes later saying
"I'm sorry, but we can't get her to stop crying." Really!?? Me either!!!

It was the first of many days that my ideals of motherhood were going to be slingshotted across the field and slammed against a brick wall.

I had such high hopes of new motherhood. Sure, I knew it was going to be a big responsibility. I knew there would be some sleepless nights. I knew this was a little life that depended completely and utterly on me, but oh the joys it would bring!
I am going to cuddle my baby all day long. I am going to do mommy-baby yoga every morning. I am going to put her on a sleep, eat, play, sleep cycle, so that she can develop "healthy sleep habits" from the beginning. 
Mozart? played it. Baby massage? oil bought and pressure points studied. Read to? In the womb!

I could even picture my life years later with 5 (or 8...you know depending on finances) little children bouncing around my house, lovingly sharing toys, reciting scriptures, eating homemade bread, and memorizing the constitution. 

Bahahaha!!

Well, as I said before my first experience was a doozy. I can honestly say, I very seldom got to just snuggle with my baby. Most of the time I had to put her in a room and walk outside just so I could get my cool together.

My friends would invite me to "play dates" with their "carseat babies"

(you know the ones who just sit there, strapped up, cooing, and batting at the little cow hanging down) 

I was the mom in the corner dripping sweat out of every pore while I bounced (arms fully extended and swinging with a forceful momentum...I've never had such great biceps) while my baby scrame. and scrame.

They would all pitch in their 2 cents....

Maybe she's hungry? or cold? or too warm? or tired? or poopy?
Maybe she has allergies? Maybe her spine's out of alignment?
or maybe it's from trauma in the womb???

I definitely started to think it was me. That somehow I had missed the "great mom gene"

Freak. maybe if I was more spiritual. Maybe if I had read more books about this.

Maybe if I had taken my prenatals???

I cried A LOT.

BUT then at about 3 1/2 months, a miracle happened.

My little girl seemed to be smiling...well...a lot more.

And at about 4 1/2 she just seemed happy.

Did she sleep thru the night? Heavens No!

But I got some cuddles in. We had more of a routine down.

And most of all....

I kind of liked the girl.

Haha. Kidding. I LOVED her! I couldn't get enough of her.

And I have to say Lulu has never given me much grief since. She is a gem.

As my other two munchkins are.

So why share that all on Mother's Day?? I guess I'm not quite sure. Maybe just because I like to write. :)

Or maybe to share one Mommy's experience when things didn't go quite as planned...

but it all worked out.

Being a mom is tough.

It is wonderful though. 

It takes so much effort, devotion, and sacrifice.

And of course it does, because anything this good should. 

I've had many tearful days, I've done the wrong thing many times, I've collapsed on my knees for help, and I've stayed up several nights thinking....I don't think I can do this. I don't think I got it in me.

BUT I swear it's always the next day (sometimes week) that I get that slobbery wet kiss from Miss Gigi followed with a "Happy Birfday!" or Lulu leaves a cute little drawing on my pillow, or the Rockstar gives me one of his big bear hugs and mentions something he learned last week in FHE (I guess he does hear something even when he is sword fighting his baby sister with his finger!!)

And every once in a great while my kids do eat some homemade bread, they sometimes share,

and...
wait...no we never have memorized the constitution,

but they do know itsy bitsy spider.

And that is good enough for me :)

Happy Mother's Day!!!

I just LOVE being called Mommy.
most of the time :)