To My 5 Year Old Boy

Dear Rockstar,

5 years old today! Wow. Can you believe how fast time is flying? I sure can't. I know that I write it every year and I will write it again...
Time flies...
and it freaks me out!
As exciting as these Birthdays are and as much as I celebrate you and am just so proud of you and your sisters at each new stage and age...I also get a little sad nostalgia as we (symbolically) close the door on an age that I adored so much. I stay up late on nights like tonight asking myself if I have taken enough time out of all the busyness to really just be in your world with you? Have I played Memory enough times? Have I captured enough Rollie Pollie's? Built enough forts?
I don't know. I sure hope so.
It really is a shame that someone hasn't invented some sort of little contraption to capture your child's little persona at every stage of life to keep and treasure forever. I really wish someone would, because I would keep my little 4 year old Rockstar in a special little space. I can just picture a little jar or something that 20 years from now I could open and experience my little boy in all your glory...the wet dog smell, the inquisitive mind, the adventures, the humor, the proud smile when you've conquered the world (climbed to the top of the street lamp), the endless snuggles, the boundless amount of energy, the innocent little heart, and just how perfectly all boy you are. Completely Snails and Puppy Dog Tails :)
But to my knowledge, nothing has been invented yet, so I write these Birthday letters instead with the hopes that we can all read these later in life and remember.
Oh how I want to Remember.
You.

I hate to admit it, but I think you're my little rebel. You'll walk into the kitchen at any given moment with your big mischievous smile and I think Oh no, what is it this time. Of course, I'll ask you straight up what you have been up to and you will always reply "nothing." I can almost count down the seconds to Lu's scream or Daddy yelling "Who ate all the chips in the food room!" You'll always deny being involved until you can't see a road out. Augh! It drives me crazy and makes me laugh all at the same time. Such a little sneak.

You make us all laugh! Honestly, home would NEVER be the same without you. I think you believe it is your mission in life to make us all have a good time (maybe it is?) You love to have us sit back on the couch and watch you dress up/act out different animals while we try to guess who or what you are. It is hilarious and you get so creative. SOmetimes you will throw a little hip hop in with it and just get super goofy. We love to be entertained and you do just that!

You have the best heart. Really and truly. If you think I or one of your sisters are hurt...It just about breaks you inside. You act real tough, but you're a little softy inside just like your daddy. You're always looking out for everyone.

You're cool. I don't really know what else to say...just that I am pretty sure if I was your age, I would want to hang with you. Heck, I'm 29 and I want to hang out with you. You just have a 'cool' vibe and I think I'm kinda hip just to be your mom :)

You love candy. Oh good golly do you love the sugar. I try to keep the stuff out of the house as much as possible, but you have your ways. A few months ago, we were baffled, because we were finding stashes hidden everywhere....underwear drawer, under pillow, melted all over the dryer (not cool). We finally had a heart to heart and you admitted that you were talking your friend Harlan into giving up his Easter stash (apparently he's a saver) every time you went over there to play. Ha! This shouldn't have surprised us. You also recently talked him into trading his razor scooter for your old broken plastic one. (we gave it back) Little con artist you :)

You think your Daddy is 11 feet tall. You look up to him so much, and I think you should. He's amazing.

You are a dare devil. We have Best friend, Tyler to thank for this. He finally got you out of the dress ups and into scaling fences like spider man. Holy Cow! I don't know if I am excited about this or not! You and him climb up the light pole outside our house all the time. Seriously, all the way to the top, touch the light and then slide back down. I just about swallowed my heart the first time I saw you do it. You got hurt the other day though, so we're taking a light pole break. Thank goodness!

And speaking of Tyler, You and him are hilarious. You guys have a routine down...Doorbell rings, Ty walks in, shirts come off, wrestling begins. If one of you gets hurt than the other is there saying "Be a man! Come on. Be a man!" The hurt one always stands back up, brushes off his pain, and walks with his head a little higher :)
Gosh. I love boys.

You are still amazing at Basket ball. Been saying that since you were a babe, and nothing has changed. So proud of your talent though. We can't wait til 6, because then you can join a real team. Yay for future B ball games!!

We went thru a period of about 3 months when I thought we were in so much trouble with you. You were always yelling, angry, and just getting into trouble every single day. Daddy and I were beside ourselves and I think we hit our breaking points the Sunday that you refused to go into church and chose to sit in the car for 2 hours. Oh my goodness, I bawled the whole day. Of course we checked on you every 5 minutes. You were as calm as can be, but the second we tried to take you inside, you'd go thru the roof hitting and screaming. Finally realized that every single day you were getting negative attention (along with a lot of positive) with time outs and discipline. We decided to ignore any bad behavior and only reward the good. It has seemed to work. We have had such better days with you and I can tell that you are trying you're darndest to make good decisions. Makes me feel bad, because looking back, I think you had started to label yourself as "the naughty one" and you were acting accordingly. You're a great kid, and I feel bad that I don't have this parenting thing even kind of figured out. Thanks for being patient.

You're scared of the dark now. You start every night in our bed. You have to sleep to music. Daddy and I both take a turn tickling your back and telling stories each night one on one with you. Of all our kids, you are definitely the biggest cuddler. Your love language is definitely touch and I love having a snuggler.

You are the perfect older brother. Gigi now follows you to all your friend's houses and you just let her play with you and the buds. You defend her like crazy and are always making sure she is okay. She loves you and she is not the easiest to please :) Thanks buddy for being the older brother a mommy dreams of. I hope you always watch out for your sisters.

You still have your raspy voice. I am so happy that you haven't ever lost this. You're also about as handsome as they come. Blue eyes, shaggy blond hair, darling smile, Cutie pie! Miss Kindra let me know a while ago that all the preschool girls seemed to be crushin on you already. Oh dear, we are gonna be in trouble.

You attach poop to every word and you think it's hilarious.

You are so proud of yourself. I don't know how to put it into words, but every night when I am laying beside you and talking about what a good boy you are...your face just lights up and you get this half smile while you nod your head and I just know that you believe it. With all your heart you believe in who you are. It is my prayer every single day that you will keep this. You should be proud of you. You're a sweet, fun, loving, kind hearted, talented, smart boy and as long as I am your mother I will be reminding you of that.
Do so much good in your life little Rockstar!
You can achieve anything.
Here's to being 5. It is gonna be great!!

I love you all the way to the moon and back again buddy.
and don't you forget it.

Love,

Mommy