Sunday, September 1, 2013

The Accident

Okay, now the real reason I am blogging is because it has been a year since I had to say goodbye to my grandma.
I haven't blogged for a year, because honestly I didn't have it in me to write about this.
My emotions are too strong, and it is hard to find a "good day" to sit and bawl as I write,
so these posts have been neglected.
Last night, I had a dream though about my grandparents.
They both were there and my grandma was asking me to write something for her.
(in some sand with a stick? it was a dream.)
I woke at 5:30 am and felt the need to come sit at this computer and remember.
Remember this beautiful woman who blessed my life so much.
So here's part of her story.
The End of her Mortal life here on Earth, 
but I know without a doubt that she is still here in Spirit and doing so much work on the other side 
with the love of her life, grandpa.

{September 1, 2012}
The day after the big wedding bash, Shawn and I went to Todd and Lisa's house to celebrate
little Eliza turning 1.
They had mentioned it to us just the night before when they heard we would be staying in town.
We had made plans visit several friends in Daybreak, but I had a feeling to cancel.
 (Plus, I never really miss out on time with my grandma)
We made some phone calls, and then drove to Sandy that morning.
It was a beautiful day.
My little family, my sister, Ciara + her two girls, Lisa and Todd, and my Grandma and Aunt Rose.
We laughed and ate while we watched Eliza open her gifts.
Ciara reminded me that Grandpa had died exactly 5 years ago to that day.
We sat with Grandma and asked her how she was doing.
She replied.
"I miss that man every single day."
She told me how much she wishes he could have gotten to know my kids.
She knew he would have "gotten such a kick out of Roscoe!"
(I agree)
Like always, she kept putting her arm around my waist to give me a squeeze.
She also let me in on the fact that she knew a certain secret about me and laughed when she told me what it was.
Seriously, none of us will ever know HOW grandma always knew everything.
I'm serious. That Lady knew our deepest darkest before we even knew.
She had skills.

Around 2 pm, Her and Aunt Rose decided it was time to take off.
It was looking like a storm was coming.
We gave last hugs and I love you's.
Grandma said her infamous "Be Careful" to everyone.
And they drove away, waving out the window.

(deep breathe)
(I can do this)

Around 7:00, We were eating dinner at Costa Vida.
It was a down pour outside.
My mom called me.

There had been an accident around 5.
My Aunt Rose and Grandma.
Rose was okay, but they had to revive grandma a few times.
I knew it was bad.
And the moment I had been dreading for 5 years 
(when the reality hit I wouldn't always have my grandparents)
had come.
I knew she wasn't going to make it.
I told my mom that it was the 5 year anniversary of Grandpa's,
and it was communicated thru our tears that we both knew he had come for her.
Beautiful.

A few minutes later I got the call that it was final.
She had gone home.
Her loneliness was over and she could go be with the man she had longed for the past few years.
I was sad,
but more than anything
grateful.

Grateful that Heaven chose to take her that way.
We were able to spend a great evening with her.
I got to be with her that very morning. She was vibrant, beautiful, and alive.
We had laughed just hours before.
Grateful that My Aunt Rose walked away with a scratch.
I knew this wasn't some sort of freak accident, but that it was literally a loving Father allowing his Daughter to return. Allowing it to happen on a day that would show her mourning family that it was indeed part of the plan.
A perfect reminder of the love her and grandpa had always had.
I know its all true.
And it truly brings a smile to my face thru the tears.

1 comment:

Julie said...

I didn't even know your sweet grandma and this brought tears to my eyes. My grandmas was the first (&only) person I have been close to die (did that make sense). Her funeral was such a celebration of her life and the amazing person she was. I cried through it all but loved every story told about her and learned so many more things about her - things that helped me understand myself better. Family relations are such a blessing. Sorry to ramble. You're grandma will always be with you!